Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Flowers in the Attic Chapters 4-7: Incest is Revealed, and a Whole Lot Of Nothing Happens

Welcome back to a gay lizard reading a straight incest book! Lets jump back into hell

Chapter 4--The Attic 

So, having spent their first morning in the room, our siblings decide to finally explore the titular attic! This is very exciting! Except it turns out the attic is a little horrible. It's humid and rotten and generally foreboding. But there's a lot of stuff in it it, and it's very big, so at least there's that!

Cathy is still preoccupied with clothes, but when she tries to get some of the ones in the attic, moths with DISGUSTING LITTLE WINGS fly out. She also finds some photos with relatives; everyone is completely miserable. This is a Misery Family.

The twins utterly despise the attic and resent Chris and Cathy for keeping them there. But they feel better when Chris finds a rocking horse, at least.

Then Cathy picks up a book and CENTIPEDES FALL OUT AND ITS TERRIBLE EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE. Chris chastises her for still being scared of bugs but HONEY IF YOU PICKED UP A BOOK AND FUCKING 100 LEGGED SQUIRMING TERRORS FELL OUT YOU'D SCREAM TOO.

Anyway the twins really want to go outside and we discover that they can't even see the gardens from the window of the attic, which makes everyone really sad. Chris tries to be optimistic and says they can at least watch the seasons pass. Also, he suggests they get a pet owl, which I think is always a good idea.

Chris makes swings for the twins, so they'll have something to play with. He RISKS HIS LIFE to high them from the high rafters, and Cathy is very impressed. However, the twins are not, so they go back down stairs.

This is when the observation that even if they could open the blinds, sunlight couldn't get it the room, and to this I say, that is fucked up.

Cathy also ruminates on Concrete Grandma:

Such horrible words she'd said: "You are here, but you don't really exist."

She sounds exactly like my depression!

Anyway, everyone takes baths. They break one of Concrete Grandma's rules have girls and boys in the bathroom at the same time. Cathy talks to Chris while she's the bath, cries a little, and reveals her desire for a pony. Chris remains very optimistic about the future.

They eat lunch and the twins start mcfreaking losing it, which, to be fair, I would be too. But Cathy calms them down by reading them to sleep. It's a pretty cute scene.

Cathy and Chris read, and Cathy gains a love for the middle ages. Which I mean, in actuality they sucked...but honestly I enjoy fictionalized stuff about them too.  Later, they eat dinner, and Chris describes oranges as "liquid sunshine" and BOY DO I CRAVE ORANGES NOW. The best fruit A+++

Cathy comes up with a plan if there's a fire, and Chris admires her for it AND THEN MOTHER AND CONCRETE GRANDMA RETURN AND CATHY FEELS LIKE GRANDMA CAN SEE ALL HER WRONDOINGS AND THEN THE CHAPTER IS OVER.

Chapter 5--The Wrath of God 

So, the mother is very sad, and seems to limp. She tells the twins to think of Cathy and Chris as their parents which is certainly not going to lead to incest nope.

SUDDENLY THERE IS SCREAMING AND THE TWINS FIGHT THE GRANDMA, AND ITS PRETTY AWFUL??? SCREAMING CHILDREN AND CONCRETE GRANDMA IS AWFUL. She gets them to stop by THREATENING TO WHIP THEM and then it's revealed she's whipped their mother and its just, not a fun time for anyone.

We also get confirmation that YEP the kids are the children of their mother and her "half-uncle", and Concrete Grandma tells them they are against God, and Cathy basically loses her faith. She hates the grandma, which is reasonable, and then Concrete Grandma gives them a speech about how she has COMPLETE CONTROL OVER THEM and I say again, a fucked up book.

Chris also apparently was closest with their mother, and

He'd already told me when he grew up, he'd marry a woman who was like our mother.

W E L L

Everyone wants to know why their mother brought them to this awful place when she knew how terrible it was. Same? Why would you do this?

Chapter 6--Momma's Story  

Grandma leaves, and mother tells the children about her family. Her grandfather is one of THOSE Christians who believes as long as he goes to church and pays tithe then he is absolutely perfect forever always.

She then tells a big long story that basically boils down to, she married her father's half-brother, who was only 3 years older than her. IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ETC. Cathy ignores the incest and focuses on how it's love at first sight! How romantic! She literally doesn't care about the incest.

She also tells the kids not to feel bad about themselves which, okay, I'm always for counteracting self-loathing and it's not like it's their fault. But then she says some gross stuff about how god could have "punished" them with "deformed or mentally retarded children" which is just, not an okay thing to say. Disabled kids are not punishment that is an AWFUL thing to say? But anyway she uses this to prove God gave the thumbs-up to their incest marriage!

Before mother leaves, she tells the kids about how she's moving into the city to learn how to be a secretary. Which, I'm afraid for the kids. Please don't leave them in this room.

Chris reassures Carrie before she sleeps, saying that they'll take it a day at a time, and the chapter ends with a sad little bit about the twins have forgotten their father. But Cathy can't, even if she wants to.

Chapter 7--Minutes Like Hours 

Things sure are boring, trapped in this one room for days and days and days. They can't even sleep late because of their sleep cycles actually being on track. Concrete Grandma REALLY wants them to be ready the bible, and Chris says this about it:

"It's bloodier and lustier than any movie we ever saw, and talks more about sin than any book we ever read."

Which just makes me very pleased, but also, please do not taunt the grandma.

The mother visits as often as she can, but can't stay long, and this book makes me sad sometimes. They've been there for two weeks now, the twins still hate the attic, there are MORE ORANGES. Various things are done for amusement, such as Chris pretending to be Concrete Grandma. That seems like tempting fate.

The twins get splinters and Cathy has to deal with it. And then the twins BREAK MY HEART by asking if their mother still likes them.

One day mom visits look happy and good and Cathy gets mad about this, cause y'know, she and her siblings are in complete misery. To make matters worse, mother hasn't been entirely truthful. Church Grandpa doesn't know about them, and would never ever approve of them, saying that the only good thing about the mother's marriage was that she hadn't had any "devil's issue". So they just gotta wait it out until grandpa dies.

JUST GOTTA WAIT IT OUT, HAVE HOPE. Everyone still has hope in the book. This is going to end so, so well.



Friday, October 30, 2015

Flowers in the Attic Chapters 1-3: An Awful Lot Of Incest Foreshadowing

So I started the descent into hell! Join me on the wondrous incest journey.

It starts with a bible quote, as many things do. Is this a good sign? Is this a bad sign? I do not know.

But the color yellow is associated with hope in the prologue! I'm always fond of color symbolism, and I don't know if it's intentional, but this particular one seems to pay homage to Van Gogh, who is my favorite.
There's already a bunch of foreboding foreshadowing. This book wants you to know, it's going to be very sad and despairing. It wants you to know that.

Chapter 1--Good-bye Daddy

It's called "Good-bye Daddy", which makes me uncomfortable, partly due to the weird hyphen in "good-bye" but mostly due to the word "daddy" being completely ruined for me by current internet culture. The father, who is the BEST apparently (brings presents, loves his children, is 6 foot 2) is referred to as daddy throughout the chapter.

The mother is mostly remarked on as being Beautiful, and the daughter, our narrator, Cathy, wants to be like her. Also there is the older brother, Chris. Everyone's names start with C. It's truly something.
Twins are had, and they are also named C-names. Carrie and Cory which are also THE SAME NAME WITH THE VOWELS CHANGED C'MON.

Anyway they are a happy family of dopplegangers (i've seen both Dollanger and Dresden Dolls referenced in music? are musicians more likely to like these books? these questions need answering) and sound exactly like the blond-haired blue-eyed super white kids that scare the shit out of me. You know the ones. The ones where you can see murder in their pale blue eyes. (this fear might be a Jew Thing)

It's all gravy, with over-described clothes, until the dad dies in a car accident. Very sad, but also he had a lizard-skin wallet, so I feel that perhaps he deserved it. We also find out the family never had pets. What the fuck kind of family is this? CHILDREN NEED PETS, YOU GUYS.

Everything is absolutely terrible after their dad dies, and their mom is terrible about managing money, so they go to live with their Super "sinfully" Rich Grandparents, who hate the mother for something she did. This will end very well, definitely.

The main character is also TWELVE YEARS OLD AND ALMOST A WOMAN which I feel like, calling a twelve year old almost a woman is a bit fucked up? That's still a child, basically. She is very sad to leave her room behind, but her mom tells her to get over it, and the chapter ends.

Chapter 2--Road to Riches 

Okay, I don't like these chapter titles so far? They are both weird and bland. Just Lizard Opinions™

We are on a DARK TRAIN and the conductor is calling the mother by the WRONG NAME and they have to WALK IN THE DARK and no one is EXPLAINING ANYTHING. The twins are crying and the sky is too pretty for Cathy, they are out in the country, nothing good ever happens in the country, they have to sneak into the house; this will all end very well, I am sure.  

When they do meet the grandmother, she is described as Severe in every way, including

...even her bosom looked like twin hills of concrete.
Y'know, book, this isn't really something I wanted to know.

The grandmother outlines the terms of their stay, and also implies the mother had a thing with her "half-uncle". I DIDN'T EXPECT THE INCEST TO BE STARTING SO EARLY, BUT OKAY THAT'S FINE OKAY.

All the kids are going to be in that room, always, until their grandfather dies. They have to make sure no one knows about them. This is going to end so well. The titular attic is also mentioned! Thats a good sign!

Real talk though, the book does a good job of conveying the fear of being in a dark room and not being able to do anything about it. I remember when I was scared of the dark, and it was just, a palpable fear. This book is doing a good job conveying fear and unease in general, really. It hits me right in the visceral fears.

Chapter 3--The Grandmother's House

Cathy keeps using "golly-lolly!" as an exclamation. YOU ARE RUINING THE MOOD, STOP IT.

There are hell-paintings in the room, and Chris is revealed to be a good artist, earning my eternal resentment. (no one is allowed to be better at art than me, okay.) Also, the twins personalities are revealed; Cory is calm and Carrie is OPINIONATED, but they still are of one mind, like bees or something.

Concrete Grandma brings them food to last the whole day, and also talks about how much she hates dirty children. This is how we know she is A Bad. She also leaves a list of rules.

They have breakfast, and Carrie doesn't want the bacon? What kind of child is this. Also Chris and Carrie have a very UMMMM conversation in which she names him the "father" and he's like "well I'm the king and ur my inferior wife u must serve me" and its all quite UMMMMMMMMM

also someone pisses in a vase.

The rules end up being all about BIBLE STUDY and PREVENTING INCEST. The grandma is so sure that incest is going to happen. You are going to end up planting the idea in these children's heads, Concrete Grandma.

(this is so not relevant to the current situation but she talks about keeping the boys and the girls separated, and i just, love it when that is done to keep sexual activity from happening just like AH YES MAKE THINGS EASY FOR US GAYS)

The attic is mentioned (they are allowed to play in it, but also must hide in it making no noise on the last friday of every month), and the last rule is basically just DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME YOU IMPURE LESSER BEINGS.

The grandfather's eye probably being gray are mentioned. "Flint, hard, steel-gray eyes", which is giving me 50 Shades of Grey flashbacks.

Despite all circumstances, Cathy is super hopeful her mother will be able to win her grandfather over, and they will not have to stay in this room long. THE VAST AMOUNT OF INCEST FORESHADOWING SAYS OTHERWISE, CATHY.

In conclusion, this was enjoyable and I am very excited for things to get Worse.


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

In Which I Explain This Blog's Purpose

Hello! You may know me as JasperLizard. I do webcomics! Anyway, I needed something that was not art, for me to do in my spare time. I always liked to read people's reactions to works of fiction, so I figured I'd do that!

This is sort of a combination livetweet/liveblog thing. All the posts here will start out as livetweets, but I will collect and make them more coherent on this blog. This is because although I love livetweeting, I want to make it easier for people who might want to go back and read through things I've said (as well as being more likely for me to say ~meaningful things~ if I make a big post)

I'm opening to livetweeting/blogging any manner of thing, and will probably take suggestions! But we're starting with Flowers in the Attic right now. All I know is it's about kids who get locked in an attic, and there is incest, so be forewarned about any of that stuff.

Hopefully some people will be interested in this, and I will keep up with it! I look forward to my future, talking about many stories here.